Letter to our son Buddy: Love always, Mummy xxx We waited long to have you, to see two lines of blue, Christmas Eve I took the test to find in me you grew. My heart was filled with joy, our family was complete, We looked forward with excitement, for in eight months we’d meet. At the twelve weeks scan we saw you, your tiny body danced, I lay there quite fixated and watched you so entranced. We told all the people that we knew, and anyone who’d listen, And when we told the grandparents their eyes began to glisten. The midwife said your heartbeat did sound of ‘baby blue’, We kept that thought a secret, but deep down inside I knew. For your sister wanted a brother, she told us that each night. Her wish came true our darling boy, the midwife she was right. So, in a flash eight weeks did pass, who knew the world could change so fast, Our plans no longer set in stone, but in our plans, we saw you home. My love for you grew day by day, my stomach stretched to make some way, At story time you would change gear, I thought you moved so you could hear. I felt as if I knew you, the bond began to form, And every time you kicked me it made my heart feel warm. So, everything was perfect until that fateful day, when all our hopes were shattered, and our dreams were cast away. What I thought was just a routine scan (at twenty weeks that was the plan), The midwife in her mask of blue looked down at me and Mummy knew. She left me waiting all alone, I rang no one till driving home. In three days’ time they scanned again, there was an issue with your brain. Her words they cut me like a knife, those words will scar me now through life. I knew right then what stood ahead, as it kept going through my head. I knew I’d have to let you go. When you’re a mum sometimes you know. To keep you close would cause such pain, I prayed one day we’d meet again. As we waited for that day to come, the day that broke my heart, I never thought I’d have to bear the grief that we should part. The night before your birth, my child I could not sleep, I crept from my warm bed that night and out your window peeped. The moon it shone so white and new as if the sky looked down on you, And from that window I did see our lovely little cherry tree. If we were not to have you, you’d look on from up above, and in your place that cherry tree would remind us of our love. Your names not just of ‘friendship’, but also ‘life that’s new’, With each new spring that comes around we’ll always think of you. Fair well my child, and as you go, we say our last goodbye, I thought we’d have more time than this, it’s that which makes us cry. You were not meant to walk this earth, instead your wings were ready, And as you fly on high above, we wish that you’ll go steady… Bye sweet angel x